Life's Mirage

            There she was sitting and thinking, so confused about it all, it felt like forever that she had  felt the unrestrained happiness and even wondered if she would be privileged to have it bestowed on her again. Different thoughts racing through her mind and the loudest of all was "where did it all go wrong". Every time she tries to let things go, make new beginnings, see the best in herself and everyone around, it always ends up in vain. Even her fantasies and dreams seem far from her reach, it's like she's doing everything wrong and in her vulnerability she yearns for strength. 
       Her surroundings is just a blur and all that used to excite her has lost it's thrill, they now seem more like a figment of her imagination. For so long she has kept it all bottled in, even her usual therapy was beyond her, she's lost the faith in it. There's only been a few times she has felt pure pleasure and felt like a wonderful being, at times like this she begins to wonder why she can't emulate the people around her and be normal.
       She has lived in a fantasy world for too long and don't know how to come out of it, it's been her safe haven. It's time for her to take bold steps and make mind altering decisions, yet she draws back and hides in her shell. All that comes to her head is how she's gonna face the world cause she knows its tough and feels she has no guide nor has she had exemplary models to make her understand it all better.
        At this point she's at crossroads and knows no way to turn, deep down she feel she can do it but the doubt, fear and uncertainties keep popping up and making things tough. She wants to make it better, she wants to stand up tall and face the storm, she wants to strive for the best, she wants to actualise her dreams and achieve her goals. The million dollar question is how??????????
     
                                                       Just my musings!